m I feel lost right now, like im missing something staring me straight in the face.

In short, i dont like it.

I dont know where to look for answers, even though i know they're in me, and that they shoiuld be easy to find, but all the same i look inside and im just sad.

I feel depressed when i shouldnt be and it scares me. it scares me that i might be reverting back to the way i was just months ago, which is sad because i spent so long in that horrible place. and i dont want to be there.

I want to be HAPPY. i dont want to wake up unable to go to work because this feeling inside me makes my head spin, the images confusing my body in what its doing.

I dont want the wandering mind that gets the body someplace it didnt realize it was going until it was too late.

I dont want to scream at any loud noise because im so lost that it jolts me back to reality

but then by saying all this, im inviting these feelings back

The world is confusing in its own simplicity, and trustme, i do not like it.

I want security. Happiness. Calmness.

Cher. I don't believe you.