For the first time in months, I woke up this morning and got ready... Not for work... but because I was going to be going to my grandmothers. I got ready with care and consideration, rather than just cleaning up the clothes I passed out in and running out the door, like most days are.

What I wore made me feel more like myself, A self I hadnt been for a long time. Its now i realize that I have two important persona's. A person doesnt remember all their faces, but we all have them. Mine unfortunately need work. One of them has dissapeared, the strong one, and left the weak one to bear up under massive amounts of pressure, things she couldnt handle.

Whats scary is knowing I have two people to take care of. And I don't know if i have the energy to. I'm trying to rewrite my path, my mind, what i see ahead of me. I trying to become healthier without succumbing to dis-ease.

Its hard when my surroundings blow out every candle of hope I manage to light.