My heart is aching right now. It wants to be held.

 

I need someone to talk to but everyone is too close. Everyone.  I just want to express my love and desires.

I should be telling my boyfriend, but I dont know if he wants to hear that right now. Even tho he does.

 

I just miss him, and need him in my arms. If i think that i will go through this life without ever holding him, kissing him, loving him, I cry. I cry cry cry cry. I could cry all day if I couldnt stop those thoughts.

 

I just went for a healing, and my kundalini is rising, my sexual self is REALLY waking up, REALLY coming out. and it got stuck and im trying to make it go up and i just feel the energy brewing insiide of me.

 

 

Healing Notes

 

man in a shell, afraid to be a man, hides as a boy
wont come out to me, cant express feelings, wants to be in control but hes not when i voice
my desire. strangled.unable to speak.  spins the world on his finger....

fish man - hubby. will fill my belly, zones out while eating, wont hear me if i speak. Just as ravenous with my body and he is with food.

give me my son and my daughter, exact replicas of their parents.

 

Boyfriend

we will always be distant with intervals of physical closeness. we heal each other sexually and emotionally, and some how are sexually together when we're so far apart.

Kundalini rising, stuck in my solar plexus affecting my sexuality.

Fullfill our relationship to the fullest, because we need it, and we will leave healed, and fullfilled.

 

 

 

 

Even now i can feel my body asking, craving for sexual pleasure, sexual relief. Oh i want it.

I just want him to touch me, be within me, i just want to feel him entirely.

 

I love him so much. its painful to be parted. my mind torments me with pictures and scenarios.

 

Frig, i admit it. im horny and i want him and only him